I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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