I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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