Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
