Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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