Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
