my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We need to get me chipped asap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
