the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sex in a hospital.. check
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
