I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
