Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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