i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
