I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
