you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
