I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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