I hate your face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize