Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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