oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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