well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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