He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
