Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Pooping to opera.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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