ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize