I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
