atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize