at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
