Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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