Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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