I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
