I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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