I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
