i barfeds in our rink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
