I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
