when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize