I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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