you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
