he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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