her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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