Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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