I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize