Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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