I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize