There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
