Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
