so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
