i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
