It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize