How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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