So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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