What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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