dude i'm inner monologue high
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
