normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
