who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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