whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
