5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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