Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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