please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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