did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
