OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
