maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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