I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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