I just cut my nipple shaving
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
