I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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