so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
