I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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