$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
