she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
