You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
