Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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