Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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