i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
