i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
