My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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