I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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