she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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