I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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