worst night to have a conscience
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
