New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
